Goodbye January...

The last night of January.  The month has gone by so quickly.  I did spend some time talking about me and tomorrow I'll go back to commenting about me sometimes, but sharing things about my family and friends and other things that might come to my mind.

*Neal and Jan last year when Neal turned one!

I am excited to be heading in to February.  I love the month of February.  I love Valentines day, mostly because I love hearts and I love chocolate.  I love that Neal was born in February.  I have a niece, Miranda, who has a birthday in February.  My brother in law, Chad, and my sister in law, Carol, each have birthdays in February.  Lisa was born in February, Ray was born in February and I  was born in February.  Eric's mother was born in February...ALOTOF birthdays to celebrate! My brother, Robert, and his wife, Carol, have their anniversary in February.  Jan, my wonderful next door neighbor has her birthday on the same day as Neal.  

The month of February represents love to me and life, because of Valentines and all the birthdays..especially mine.  I like it better when there are 29 days in it, but I will accept and have learned to enjoy celebrating my birthday on the 28th, I get to share that day with Lisa, one of my favorite people in the UNIVERSE!

Okay, so I'm saying goodbye to January, it was fun to talk about me...just a little bit.  I will head in to February thinking about my little almost 2 year old miracle baby, wearing RED as much as I can, what to do for Eric for Valentines Day, saying "I love you" to all the people I do love more often, getting valentine cards for Camilla to give out to her classmates and friends, sending birthday cards or e-cards to my loved ones who's birthdays are coming up, and remembering that Spencer still needs a valentine, even though he acts like he's too cool for one.  I will undoubtedly remember all the boys I've ever loved before, because I seem to do that around Valentine's day.

I'm hoping for a BIG PARTY on my birthday and when I open my present I'm sure it will be a TICKET to a Rick Springfield concert!  I also keep hoping to go down on the scales and not up!  I hope February will be full of lots of HAPPINESSSSSSSSSS for everyone. 

Goodbye January 2010....HULLOOOOO FEBRUARY THE MONTH OF LOVE.  If I give you a kiss this month, don't get any funny ideas, I just do that in February...it happens!

Mindless Munchies

M&M's they get to me. I don't remember the first time I ever tried an m&m, but I do remember hearing about how they "melt in your mouth and not in your hands" at a fairly young age. However, I don't think I appreciated m&m's until I was older, much older. Infact, just today I realized as I walked through the store, I was stopped in my tracks by the valentine display of candy, and I looked for the red, pink and white m&m's that come out at this time of the year. I do believe that the RED m&m's taste the very best, my personal preference. Each holiday m&m's comes out with wonderfully colored m&m's just for that holiday that I just have to have for my candy dish. I love red, so I caved and bought one bag for my candy dish. I could not find the peanut m&m's in the red, pink and white, so I had to settle for the plain chocolate m&m's. I also bought a bag of regular colored peanut m&m's. Just because. I did it mindlessly.

That's what I figured out today, I bought them mindlessly and I eat them mindlessly. M&M's stand for Mindless Munchies. It's hard to mindlessly eat a Snickers bar, I mean I like them just as much as I like M&M's, but I have to think about buying them..they don't really go in to a candy dish, unless it's the small bite sized Snickers, which I would just rather not bother with. A full size Snicker's bar takes some thought. I have to purchase it just for myself, because no one else in my household really cares for them, then I have to take the time to peel back the wrapper and take time to chew each bite of carmel, peanuty goodness. So every now and then I allow myself that pleasure. M&M's,on the other hand, are bought for the candy dish. My hand, as well as others, dip in to it. So I'm doing something selfless for my family and friends who might come by and want to dip their hand in to the candy dish.

Prepare for ranting...The problem is that I am here all day long dipping mindlessly in to the candy dish or if there is not room in the candy dish, a plastic container...WHO CARES, I just dip in and then I pop them in my mouth,and my mind is numb to what I'm doing until all of a sudden my stomach YELLS OUT, "NO MORE YOU LUNATIC, I'M GOING TO BE SICK!!!"

I'm a little calmer now...At Weight Watchers last night we talked a bit about changing behaviors that cause us to be unsuccessful in our goals to lose weight. It all makes so much sense to me. It's just putting all that great information in to daily practice that I seem to be struggling with. So today I am owning up to the fact that I eat some foods mindlessly, without any thought. Just because. I LIKE IT, or I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING ELSE, or whatever other 100 reasons I might have for just tossing an m&m in to my mouth. What am I going to do to change that. I'm not sure yet. I don't think I'm ready to say I won't ever buy m&m's again. I suppose I just took the first step by taking time to STOP, PAY ATTENTION, WRITE IT DOWN and take a time out from mindlessly popping them in to my mouth...it is hard to pop and type at the same time.

Tell me, how do you set a goal and tackle it, I mean a real life changing goal? How do I make myself stick to what I want to do, but have never been able to do..at least not for any extended length of time. I've got to figure this one out because I can't keep doing what I've been doing for 45 years..it's not working.

The next thing I just need to throw in to this post is that the other day Camilla dressed in red and wore her red sequined shoes that I got her for her halloween costume. She was a bit unsure of wearing them to school, but I convinced her that they looked cute and it's okay to wear those kind of shoes when you are 8 years old. So I took her picture and she liked how it looked too. I just have to post it.

Just Dance

Last week at Weight Watchers, yes I just admitted that I go to Weight Watchers...I finally said it on my BLOG!  Anyway, our group leader suggested that we put more movement in to our days, meaning exercise.  She had people give idea of how to add exercise in to their routines, especially people who do not like to exercise..which is the majority at a place like Weight Watchers.  The suggestion that stuck with me all week was to JUST DANCE.  That totally is something that I can do and love to do.  So as the week moved on I added more dance music to my playlist and when I was cleaning or hanging out somewhere around my computer I would turn up the music and just dance.  Sometimes I had a little partner...NEAL.  He is a very sassy dancer I must say.

Today I thought of how much I have enjoyed dancing over the years.  I remember turning 14, the official public dancing age of the LDS church, and being able to go to dances.  School dances and stake dances.  I remember standing on the side lines or sitting in a chair, which was so much worse, because in a chair you can not even pretend like you are dancing, and WAITING endlessly for some boy to ask me to dance.  I remember being a college student and loving to dance and dancing a bit more than I did  at high school or younger.  Still I never danced as much as I really wanted to, at least not in public.  I went to dances from the time I was 14 until I got married at the age of 30.  Then public dancing more or less ceased to exist.  Eric and I did make it to a few wedding receptions that had dancing and one valentine party, I believe that's what it was, that had dancing.

Anyway, today I thought of the time I finally decided I wanted to dance whether I had a partner or not, so I paid to take dancing lessons.  Country dance lessons to be exact.  I paid $500 for them.  I had SO MUCH FUN for about 5 weeks or so, then Eric asked me to marry him, I was elated.  So I added him to the dance lessons, so we could learn a few dances for our wedding reception..that is another story.  I remember how much fun I had just dancing with my instructor..he was really good and I loved being lead around the dance floor by him.  Some day I want to take dance lessons again and be led around the dance floor.  I also just love to turn on music and DANCE, no matter what it might look like. 

There are a few men I would love to JUST DANCE with...

1.. JOHN TRAVOLTA
2..DONNY OSMOND
3..LANCE MALONE
4..KEITH URBAN

AND LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST....RICK SPRINGFIELD!!!

But for now I am enjoying my new dance partner ...MR NEAL KERN!!!    

A Temple

I remember when the Temple in Las Vegas was announced and the excitement that was felt in my heart and in my family!  I remember dreaming of the day I could be married in that temple. (THAT DREAM DID COME TRUE). A temple in Sin City...Can I just say  it is the THE MOST GORGEOUS TEMPLE, and I am not one bit biased. 

Yesterday, I was able to feel that excitement all over again as I found out that President Monson, the prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, announced a temple will be built right here in Payson, Utah!  Only about 2 blocks south and ten blocks west of us.  Within Walking distance!!!  WOW.  It's hard to express the gratitude and excitement I feel. 

I once again found myself contemplating the fact that my children very well could get their endowments and be married in the temple right here in their hometown.  I also look forward to spending much time there.  Temple attendance has been sporatic for me since I began having children, but I know that there is a season for each phase of our lives and soon the time will come when I can spend more time serving in the temple and soon I won't have to go very far at all.  Not that Provo is very far, but still I am so grateful that the Lord is blessing me and all the people who will benefit from a temple in Payson Utah!!!  WOW!!!    

What I really want....

This is the skirt I really want when I lose ALL my weight and it's

 

$56

And this is the CAR I want Honey!!!

Of course I'm not good at being frugal when it comes to cars...I want it red, I want it sporty and I want it to be FAST and NEW!!!

Why?

I'm just wondering to myself, "Why didn't I come up with this skirt and charge $294 for it?" 

One more week

Well, this is the last week of January and the last week I'm going to talk about me.  I'd rather talk about my family and friends and other such things anyway.

If you have a questions you'd like me to answer about myself, go ahead and ask it and I'll try to address it this week.  If not, that's okay too. 

It's Monday morning.  I'm cleaning bathrooms today and doing laundry.  I'm also hanging out with Neal..he's reading the Ensign.    

My little guy

This morning Neal headed in to the laundry room with curls!

This afternoon he headed in to the kitchen to take care of some garbage, NO CURLS!!!

HAIRCUT!  Looking smart, tough and ready to rumble.  My baby is turning into a two year old in two weeks!!!!
Yes, he placed those glasses on ALL BY HIMSELF!

Letters

I used to spend hours writing letters.  Not necessarily hours at one sitting, but sometimes I'd write several pages at one sitting.  In the 1980's/90's I wrote several letters.  I enjoyed pulling out a piece of lined notebook paper and filling it with whatever came in to my mind.  I also enjoyed buying stationery.  Sometimes I'd think of a particular person as I purchased the stationery and I could hardly wait to get home and find my comfy spot to sit down and write a letter to that person.  I can also remember the anticipation I always felt going to the mailbox hoping for a letter.  Sometimes I would receive one, sometimes on a VERY GOOD day, more than one. 

Letter writing has just gone by the way.  It's a lost art..at least for me.  I do still try to remember to send a birthday card, but sometimes I even allow myself to forget to get in my car, drive to the store which is about 4 or 5 minutes away, and stand in the card section to look for a card and think about a person.  I have all kinds of excuses.  One of the excuses is e-cards.  Just like I have stopped writing letters because I discovered e-mail.  I type much quicker than I hand write, but here in the last while, even emailing has become a bit tiresome. 

It is a cloudy day, a bit drizzly, my mood is also a bit cloudy, tired and drizzly.  I get that way from time to time.  I feel a little colder today than I have in awhile, I found myself even needing to turn up the heat, just a few degrees.  As I was standing at my sink to load the dishwasher, because I try hard not to hand wash any dishes unless I absolutely have to, I stopped dead in my tracks and thought of the pleasure I used to get from writing and receiving letters.  I wonder if my children will ever know what it's like to write letters to a pen-pal..I used to have one in elementary school..I don't remember where she lived, but I remember having one.  I would meet people when I visited my grandma, and I met a niece of my dear friend Sister Farrer and they became my pen-pals.  We'd send each other little letters.  Then once in awhile we'd get to see each other again.  I loved writing to missionaries and receiving letters from them with their "goings on in far away places" and to read their testimonies.  I wrote letters to my parents and siblings when I went away to college and I'd tell them each detail about life at BYU, my version of it anyway.  Then I'd eagerly await their letters and read them over and over again to feel a bit closer to home when I was far away.  Calling on the telephone was much more expensive than writing a letter, now it doesn't cost me any more or less to pick up my telephone and call my family.  I remember writing letters to the friends I made at BYU and then waiting for responses to hear what their lives were like, some were still at BYU, some had moved on and gotten married and sadly some I lost contact with. 

I was single for 30 years.  From the years of 18 to 30, I wrote many, many letters.  I have an accordian file folder of letters I received during those years as well. 

When I met Eric and after establishing that we had a "THING" for each other, we began writing to each other.  Sometimes cards, sometimes letters written on pieces of stationery and sometimes sticky notes.  I love it when he takes the time to write something to me in a card or on a gift he's given me and I can go back and re-read it as often as I want to.

I wrote some letters even after marrying.  However, as email and other forms of communicating have become more popular and easy, I have almost STOPPED writing letters.  It's kind of sad.

Well, I need to get back to loading the dishwasher and drinking something hot to warm me up.  Will I write more letters??  I sure hope so.....hmmm.        

Just because....

Some days I just feel like going to a Rick Springfield Concert, no explanation, that's just the way it is.  So thanks to technology, I was able to spend 5 minutes with.....Well, if you have 5 minutes hang out at the concert with me...go ahead, it's okay, you know you want to.   

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oS0TNma43vA

Every single day...

ERIC KERN

Every day since we met I have gotten to know him better.  Every day he has blessed my life.   Every day I thank the Lord for him.  Every day  I LOVE HIM MORE

Every day I'm so grateful for the day I became Eric's wife.

In love

When I first took a look at our home, I fell in love with the architecture, the upgrades and most of all how I felt in this home.  I fell in love with the way the previous owner displayed the kitchen.  I can remember a Kitchenaid mixer sitting in the corner of the countertop and that stuck with me.  When we moved from Las Vegas to Payson I decided that one purchase I had to make was a good mixer.  I had a  mixer that broke a few years after receiving it for a wedding gift.   I had a hand held mixer and then my mother in law gave me an old Bosch mixer, which held up for a few years.  So soon after making the move I headed to a sale at Kohls with my sister ,Bev, and I found my mixer..WHICH I LOVE!

Yesterday, I mixed up a batch of big chocolate chip cookies to go along with my primary lesson.  We talked about how Heavenly Father created our spirit bodies and then he sent us to earth to receive a physical body.  One of the wonderful aspects of having a physical body is we get to taste and eat food.  So I made these cookies to help the children remember how much fun it is to have a physcial body that can eat chocolate chip cookies.  My lovely mixer helped me accomplish the mixing portion of the task in just a few moments of my time.  Have I mentioned I LOVE my mixer!?!

My lovely model, Camilla, was kind enough to demonstrate how beautifully BIG these cookies are and volunteered to test taste them to make sure they were good enough to serve to my primary class.

Now I do enjoy the few THINGS I/we have acquired over our 15 years of marriage, but more than the "things" that enhance our lives.  I absolutely adore our children.  Yesterday I called to Camilla that it was time to get ready for church.  Camilla has required help in dressing most of the time and it's just something that I plan in to my morning routine.  Well, she told me that she was going to brush her teeth and wash up..so I waited, then I said, "Hurry up Camilla it's time to get dressed"...well then my Pearl came out to the livingroom all dressed, shoes and socks and she had a nice turquiose headband on.  I was so surprised and my heart filled up instantly and I got tears in my eyes.  For some this is not a big deal, for me and my Pearl it IS!!!  I did ask if we could put some curls in her hair for church and perhaps use something to hold her bangs back since they are a bit too long and maybe it could be lavendar or purple like her dress, she thought about it and then agreed to let me have my way.  So here is my Pearl, the girl I love most in this world.  The special, beautiful spirit that Heavenly Father sent to me (and her dad) who has taught me so much in her short 8 years of what a blessing and priviledge it is to be the mother of a girl.

         I am in love with my mixer, I appreciate it and what it does for me.  I could live without it though....
I AM IN LOVE WITH CAMILLA PEARL KERN!!!  I appreciate who she is in my life, I look forward to watching her continue to grow, develop, learn and blossom.  I am thankful that she will FOREVER be my daughter and that I can FOREVER be her mother.

Organizing continued....

At the beginning of the week I posted pictures of my bedroom in the process of trying to unclutter it and organize our things and make it look like a bedroom.  Here are the results and remember I had no money to spend.

Isn't it amazing!!! 

Okay..so that's a dream bedroom kind of like that shoe closet. (However, I would need some red in my bedroom)

Here is the real bedroom:

 

I did get rid of all the trash and found the top of my dresser again.  It's a good feeling.

Neal has taken up reorganizing the kitchen.  He has been rearranging cabinets, This photo above is just one example of his skills..pretty smart using a muffin pan to hold sippy cups and having them low enough that the sippy cup user can reach it all on his own!  Even Mickey thinks it was a good move..Thumbs up to Neal!

I wanna talk about last night

Last night I went out with Lisa, my friend, we get together once a week, I'd love to talk about that, but I found incriminating photos of what took place at home while I was away, so I decided to post them..here we go.

Camilla was served a GIANT size portion of spaghetti, with a little itty bitty bit of sauce on top.  Eric said she was in HEAVEN, but in the end she could not eat it all!

Neal had a run in with a bowl of blueberries and they took over his hands and face leaving him a nice deep shade of purple.

So, even though I did have a very enjoyable time with Lisa, it looks as though there was a PARTY without mom last night!  I'm wondering what happened to the photo's of Spencer??  Or was he the instigator or the co-conspirator with the Chief party meister!!!

For the love of Shoes

Can I tell you a little shoe story??? Well of course I can, this is my blog.

When I was growing up in the mountains of southern Nevada, I had one pair of school shoes and one pair of church shoes. As I got older I began to realize that there were people who had more shoes than that, especially when I entered High School. When I went to work in the summers I would buy myself a few more pairs of shoes. When I went to BYU I realized that there were girls who had alot more shoes and clothing than I did, and some had shoes to match the clothing! I wanted that.

When I became a working woman I began my quest to purchase shoes that would match outfits. I enjoyed shoe shopping much more than clothes shopping. Being of a petit and stature, and larger than a size 2, clothing has never been one of my passions...I have to wear it and so I try to find articles that fit me. However, being single until I turned 30, I managed to attain some shoes.

When I was pregnant for Spencer, my first baby, my feet expanded. In length and width. I thought they would go back to "NORMAL" for me after some time of post-natal care. Didn't happen. I gave most of my shoes to my friend, Lisa, on one of her visits. I told her to come with an empty suitcase and she filled it up with what she wanted. So I said goodbye to my shoes and began to collect a new variety of shoes. I could no longer wear inexpensive shoes and since I had to learn to live on a teacher's salary, I began to revert back to my childhood. One pair of everyday shoes and one pair of church shoes..maybe two. I found shoes that were comfortable because I could not stand up in anything that wasn't comfortable. I found brands that worked for me, they were no longer the pretty little pumps and cute shoes of the moment, they were practical and long lasting. I still love shoes though and I enjoy brousing through a shoes store from time to time.

In my effort to organize my bedroom, I began with our closet a few weeks ago. I organized my shoes. I put them in pairs, instead of just laying anywhere they had been taken off on the closet floor. I also discarded a few pair that I did not wear any longer.

Today, I received a nice helpful email from HGTV on getting organized. I looked through the photos and instantly froze when I saw the organizational tip for SHOES...so here it is, the way our shoes should be put in their place. Below that picture you will find what I did to my own variety of shoes. Get ready..this is GOOD!!!!!!!!

TA DA!!!



My REAL closet and my REAL shoes

FOR THE LOVE OF SHOES!!!!

Organize Ever Needful thing

my side...haven't begun yet.

The collection of boxes, pants that are too big for Eric and more professional development STUFF.

The top of our dresser, which I have not seen for several months. Yes, that is an exercise ball and after I've organized every needful thing, I plan to use that BALL.

In the process of organizing...this shelf is no longer a collection of our fav. books, it's now Eric's professional development things. I still have not cleared off the photo albums and other scrapbooks from the bottom shelf, but I plan to and I will put them on the top shelf of our closet!

I'm trying to clean our bedroom (Eric's and mine). Eric has a lot of professional development literature, notebooks, papers...stuff. We have leftover things from Christmas; since our room seemed to be the place to wrap and there is a huge box that held a karaoke machine. So I am trying to make it look like a bedroom again without being able to spend any money for shelves, totes, contraptions to hide things away in. Also hoping that I don't throw anything away that Eric needs, or disorganize his clutter...you know how sometimes things look a mess but you really KNOW where everything is??

I listened to a great talk in church yesterday about "organizing every needful thing". I do believe that life is much better when "THINGS" have a place. I also believe "less" is better. I want our home to be a place that is comfortable for us, others and a place where the Spirit can enter in, and preferrably stay. I would also like to say that Eric is usually not the one to have "clutter" he is usually the one throwing everything away and helping to clean. So I don't want anyone getting the wrong impression of my husband. I just think that in his line of work...teaching and training teachers... there is just an enormous amount of resources and not enough space..meaning, he NEEDS an office. Please write your senators, congressmen, legislators and all WEALTHY TYCOONS and suggest that they pay the teachers enough to be able to at least afford a few decent book shelves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh and maybe enough to take their wife on a Rick Springfield cruise!

Mirror

I've always wondered if what I see when I look in the mirror is what others see when they look at me? I wonder how people see themselves in the mirror? When I took a picture of my own reflection it was what I see, but when I take a picture of me, it's not what I see in the mirror. Why is that? Just wondering....

Google Talk!

Today I experienced something totally new for me. I was able to talk to my friend, Scott, on the computer! We actually talked in real time to each other and I was able to hear his voice, it was so amazing! All of a sudden my computer was talking to me in Scott's voice! I had received a voicemail from him and was able to hear him carry on a conversation with one of his work collegues, I was like a fly on the wall! It was like a dream...I mean sometimes I just wish I could be a fly on the wall and watch my friends at work or see what their day is like. I couldn't see him because I don't have a videocam, but maybe I'll see about getting one.

So if you wanna talk with me on the computer, just download google talk and call me!!! In the mean time I'll just be waiting by the computer for Scott to call.....hmmm, in the early 1980's I would wait by the phone for him to call, and now I'm waiting by the computer....do things really change????!!!

Sickness

All three kids are sick. They are all on antibiotics. Spencer, Neal and now Eric are all in bed...Camilla is up and talking in my ear. I think she's starting to feel better. I'm just tired. This too shall pass, it's part of being a mom.

New Shoes

I love these new shoes!! They feel so good when I'm walking in them on the treadmill, I just want to keep them on all day long! I went to a runner's store and they fitted me and showed me how to tie them correctly and how to make sure I pound my heels down in to the shoes before I tie them and it makes a WORLD of difference. I find myself wanting to walk, run, jump, skip and fly just because I have NEW SHOES! These shoes are a big celebration! Celebration of losing 20 pounds. Thank you Lisa for journeying with me on this difficult, but necessary road that I'm on and for helping me celebrate. I love you more than I love these shoes and I REALLY, REALLY LOVE THESE SHOES!!!!

Rice Krispie Treats

Have you ever made a treat saying it was for your kids, but really it was for you? That's what I did tonight. I made Rice Krispie treats; just half a batch and my kids each ate one. Then I managed to eat one, two, three....................Finally I zipped the rest in to a bag, threw them in to the pantry and slunk away from the kitchen. Now I'm so thirsty all I can do is drink water till I burst! They taste good, but at 45, they don't feel so good an hour later just resting there in my stomach. I'm off to bed so I can get up at 5am and walk on the treadmill and at least burn a half of a RICE KRISPIE treat off of me.

Tithing

Eric gets paid once a month. The last day of the month. I spend the first few days of the month paying the bills, writing out lists and shopping for the month. I also write out a check for tithing as the first check of the month. Today I realized I wrote out the first tithing check of a new year, 2010. Each time I write out a tithing check I say a little prayer and ask the Lord to help us make it financially through the month, then I write Him a check....at least that's how I feel about it.

I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. In the church we are asked to pay 10 percent of our earnings. At the end of each year we go see our bishop for "Tithing Settlement". This is the time we declare to our bishop if we are full/part or non tithe payers. It is also a time when the bishop can share some thoughts or counsel with us. I've learned to really love that experience.

I have also learned to "LOVE" paying tithing. Is it a sacrifice? Sometimes at the first of the month when I write out the amount it feels like a sacrifice. But each and every month I can witness that we are blessed abundantly for our small 10 percent of our earnings. Eric and I feel that everything we have comes from the Lord and since He has commanded that we pay 10 percent of our earnings that is what we are suppose to do.

I just want to share with you about December...the month we just said goodbye to. As you know December can be a stressful month financially because of Christmas. I remember praying at the beginning of the month as usual that we'd make and have the ability to help others if possible and have a good Christmas. Eric came home one day with two gift cards from his administrators, one night the doorbell rang and we found an envelope stuck to our door with our names on it and money in it as well as a little card thanking us for our example, a friend gave me some money for shoes, Eric's mother sent money which we know is a sacrifice for her and we used that money to get stocking stuffers for our kids. We were able to contribute a bit to our ward Christmas fund, but we received FAR more than we gave. Somehow as I sat down to end a month and begin another in my check book we had money at the end of the month. I don't normally focus on the money end of blessings, but on a few days at the beginning of each month I do, since that is what I am dealing with, our finances. There is a term used in the scriptures about the "Windows of Heaven being opened and pouring out blessings" when we pay our tithing. I know that is true. We may not always feel it financially as much as I did in December, but each and every month as I write out the tithing check I try to think of the blessings that have come to us as a direct result of paying tithing.

It is a blessing to pay tithing.

Talk about Me

I can remember hearing the song by Toby Keith, "I Wanna Talk About Me" and I laughed. It was and is a great song and the video is funny as well.

It's a new year and I'm going to try something new for a month on this blog. I'm going to talk about me.

I love people, love to listen to people, watch people and read what people write. I enjoy blogs because it gives me a bit of a glimpse in to a person's life. I would absolutely love to have time to go through people's journals, letters and old momento's. I find it interesting. I truly find most people interesting. Everyone has a story and I enjoy when people share their stories with me either by being my friend, family member or just someone I happen up on through reading their blog, or standing in line and having someone turn and share a tidbit of information about themselves.

On the other hand, I find myself to be....well, rather uninteresting. I've struggled with this complex most of my life. I am not good in a group of people who are talking and sharing ideas, brainstorming or enjoying small talk. I do enjoy a good one on one exchange with another person. I do okay when I'm asked to give a talk or teach a lesson. However, most of the time I feel people don't really want to know what I have to say or think...with a few exceptions, my husband, my sisters, parents and a few close friends.

I do love to write though and I have spent many hours writing letters, journal entries, poetry, lists, and someday I want to write a NOVEL. So to stretch myself a bit, I am going to attempt to write something each day, about me, either a thought I'm pondering, a dilemna, a personality trait or flaw...whatever may come to my mind. If you care to post something, I'd love it. You don't have to say how you feel about what I've said about me, you can talk about you...if you want to!

Last year at this time I was anticipating hernia surgery and was still trying to get used to being a mother of a premature baby. Neal weighed in at 17 lbs....He now weighs 22 lbs and is a toddler. He changed my life as all my children have, but Neal coming in to the world 10 weeks early really played havoc with my health and well being. Someone else was in charge then and still is for that matter. I do believe I have agency, but I also believe that I am now living with the consequences of my choices to get married and have children; for the most part I enjoy the consequences, but there are days I deal with depression, guilt, anxiety and negative stuff. Since having Neal and a full blown grand mal seizure, I have to hunt for my words and there are times I say the wrong words...like I'll tell the kids to use their "brush" to eat..when I really mean, "fork". I blaim it on the seizure and say it killed some of my brain cells, but I don't know truly if that is what the cause is or if it's just the effect of being a scatter brain and having a harder and harder time hiding it. I'm not organized, I forget things easily and I am easily distracted...especially if I have a task to do that I don't want to do and I'm enticed by something more interesting like an email to read or song to listen to.

So that's it for today...It's what came to my mind and I wanted to get it out there, blog it, talk about ME!

Happy 2010..I'll still post pics of the kids...don't worry, I'm not that in to myself..but I'm going to act like I am.