I am not really sure the best way to do this; share something that is extremely personal yet demanding of support from many; since I cannot possibly move forward alone, nor do I want to. I apologize to those of my friends and perhaps family that are finding out about what I will write for the first time. I wish I had the strength and ability to talk to each of you personally.
On December 17th I was diagnosed with Invasive stage 2 ductal carcinoma. Breast cancer in my left breast. It was a shock to say the least. On December 23rd I had a lumpectomy. My centinal node was taken and tested, it was clear. The margin around the tumor that was taken was also clear. However, my surgeon, Dr. Bruce Hill..who is amazing...found some tissue that didn't look right to him and he took it as well and had it tested. Two and a half weeks after my surgery I was told that I had more cancer. Fico, small tumors that began on their own and eventually will grow. I don't understand it all, but to summarize. I now am scheduled for a mastectomy of the left breast on January 24th, at Timpanogas Regional Medical Center in Orem. The hospital I had Neal in. I have also made the decision to begin reconstruction of that breast the same day. I just found out about the procedure yesterday and it will be a process that may last 6 to 9 months. I have also been told that I will have to have chemo therapy, but I do not know what kind or what that will be like. I've been told that within three weeks after this surgery we should know what my therapy will entail.
I am so thankful for my husband, Eric. His support, care and willingness to listen to me and go with me as much as he can to appts; is invaluable to me and I love him. I have my three wonderful kids, who I love more than I can express in writing. I have a wonderful extended family in the Sanders', Duncan's, Nelson's, Kern's, Durfee's, Mom Payne, Fagans, Stolzer's etc., etc. I have a handful of close friends that I have had since college who have been consistent in their calls, encouragement, visits and allowing me to share with them my journey. I have my sweet friend, Lisa, who has come with me to my appointments and helps me by writing notes and asking questions and helping me laugh when all we want to do is gasp in disbelief! How I love her. I have amazing friends that I had in my youth, who have corresponded with me. I have a ward family, through the Church of Jesus Christ, who have and are serving me in so many countless ways from taking Spencer and Camilla where they need to go, watching Neal, bringing meals and cleaning as well as praying, fasting, and giving me courage with their hugs and special visits.
Is this something I want to go through? No. Do I plan to write about? I'm not sure I will on this blog, but I hope that there will be some way to keep those who want to know updated. I have met or talked with a few women who have been through their own battle, I believe I will meet and make friends with some incredibly strong, humble, beautiful women. I know that there are many, many individuals who have had or have their own battle with cancer. I will do the best I can to stay positive, to keep my faith, and when I have no strength to rely on my support for strength. My center is Jesus Christ. I know He knows me. I know He knows suffering and pain. I also know He has sent me comfort and continues to bring me peace in my moments of weakness and discouragement.
With much love, Inez
