Talk about Me

I can remember hearing the song by Toby Keith, "I Wanna Talk About Me" and I laughed. It was and is a great song and the video is funny as well.

It's a new year and I'm going to try something new for a month on this blog. I'm going to talk about me.

I love people, love to listen to people, watch people and read what people write. I enjoy blogs because it gives me a bit of a glimpse in to a person's life. I would absolutely love to have time to go through people's journals, letters and old momento's. I find it interesting. I truly find most people interesting. Everyone has a story and I enjoy when people share their stories with me either by being my friend, family member or just someone I happen up on through reading their blog, or standing in line and having someone turn and share a tidbit of information about themselves.

On the other hand, I find myself to be....well, rather uninteresting. I've struggled with this complex most of my life. I am not good in a group of people who are talking and sharing ideas, brainstorming or enjoying small talk. I do enjoy a good one on one exchange with another person. I do okay when I'm asked to give a talk or teach a lesson. However, most of the time I feel people don't really want to know what I have to say or think...with a few exceptions, my husband, my sisters, parents and a few close friends.

I do love to write though and I have spent many hours writing letters, journal entries, poetry, lists, and someday I want to write a NOVEL. So to stretch myself a bit, I am going to attempt to write something each day, about me, either a thought I'm pondering, a dilemna, a personality trait or flaw...whatever may come to my mind. If you care to post something, I'd love it. You don't have to say how you feel about what I've said about me, you can talk about you...if you want to!

Last year at this time I was anticipating hernia surgery and was still trying to get used to being a mother of a premature baby. Neal weighed in at 17 lbs....He now weighs 22 lbs and is a toddler. He changed my life as all my children have, but Neal coming in to the world 10 weeks early really played havoc with my health and well being. Someone else was in charge then and still is for that matter. I do believe I have agency, but I also believe that I am now living with the consequences of my choices to get married and have children; for the most part I enjoy the consequences, but there are days I deal with depression, guilt, anxiety and negative stuff. Since having Neal and a full blown grand mal seizure, I have to hunt for my words and there are times I say the wrong words...like I'll tell the kids to use their "brush" to eat..when I really mean, "fork". I blaim it on the seizure and say it killed some of my brain cells, but I don't know truly if that is what the cause is or if it's just the effect of being a scatter brain and having a harder and harder time hiding it. I'm not organized, I forget things easily and I am easily distracted...especially if I have a task to do that I don't want to do and I'm enticed by something more interesting like an email to read or song to listen to.

So that's it for today...It's what came to my mind and I wanted to get it out there, blog it, talk about ME!

Happy 2010..I'll still post pics of the kids...don't worry, I'm not that in to myself..but I'm going to act like I am.